paradox flip-flop

after the last blog entry, I hibernated for 22 hours straight. I may have gotten up to use the bathroom twice at most. at about 8 am this morning, I awoke empty, weak, but somehow refreshed. breakfast was had with some episodes of chromartie high school (a new anime that kinda sucks when I'm not getting eft on chemicals). I surfed for jobs and cleaned out my email after getting a call from 2 different places wanting interviews, then called my dad and got my car up to par. we did stuff like fill the tires, clean the windows, and check the brakes (which were fine despite the shaking). I got the usual lecture about what to do. I listened and took note of things he said, but didn't take it as the absolute set in stone gospel. we made an appointment for my inspection at the place down the street where he knows the mechanics. I was promised $50 to put new windshield wipers on my car and to pay for inspection. I bought and replaced the blades myself and got a sub for lunch. after that, I stopped by to see arkron. he listened as I explained the good things that I have been doing. taking care of business, getting calls, fixing my car... I copied some chords from his guitar book and looked at his new painting with him. we agreed about what was good and bad about it as I pointed out a muddy area in the corner and he told me about painting the rocks along the stream (a very common element in his work). the fu that I watched today was come drink with me. it involved surprisingly little alcohol and turned out to be a 2002 remaster. it was really cool because the underdog from the beginning becomes a respected hero in the end. that about brings this up to date. if you can't figure out why this is called the paradox flip-flop, you're dumber than I thought so don't read my blog anymore.

not everything looks down

i've tried to handle this career change like an adult. the first thing I did was stop drinking and give the rest of my booze to richard. he can drink the cheap vodka and have fun because he's old and doesn't have to do anything productive. 2nd, I applied for unemployment. I might have to change supervisor names on the form, as I might have written sue swanson instead of wells. it should be an easy thing to fix and I'll check that tomorrow. I've applied to some places around here including the millhouse where my friend, jason works. he says they need a dishwasher, which could prop me up, pay me under the table while i look for something better. hopefully, I will recieve a last check from pgc. I'll ask shawn to tell them to mail it to me as I don't want messy confrontations. if I have to move back to my parent's place, so what? it's not like I haven't done it before. I want to avoid that if possible though. sunday I will go to my parent's for dinner and discuss what is to be done. it's not going to be easy, but it needs to be done. maybe we can put our heads together and control the damage. the whole idea here is to stay calm and try to handle things like adults. hopefully the unemployment thing doesn't throw a monkey wrench in the works.
I've also gotten a response from a girl on craigslist. she seems kindof wierd. probably a good match. she has one thing that I haven't found before on that site. she's human! not an auto-response come look at porn program or an endless "moving to rochester" emailer who sends the same message every time.
The person who has been most supportive of me is richard! arkron, my old neighbor! he says "this is a golden opportunity for you to get a good job" and "aim for the stars, you might just hit the sky, but that's better than hitting the floor!" I'm really happy he's my neighbor even if it's only for one more week before I move back in with my parents. having someone believe in you is priceless.
I called tj today because it's his birthday (wait, now it's yesterday!) he was overjoyed to even get a phone call from me. I told him happy birthday and have fun going out to eat.
the pgc weight was so heavy and now it's gone! I am free to look for a good job at a sane company and try to be good. one thing that I know is gone is the booze. that will weigh a man down to his grave if he carries it for too long.