general unease

I chilled at urinymous busch's place this afternoon. we played guitar, I watched him play an extremely violent football game, and we watched some youtube. of course we also had to go to the store to get his namesake brand of american piss beers. ever since like 10:30 or 11 last night, I've had this INSANE craving for MASSIVE amounts of dxm. I mean, like 1062+ kind of obscene quantities of cough syrup. 708 just didn't do it for me! I want to get to the point where I'm completely freaking out and can't even enjoy it anymore. this is because of my overall insatiable thirst for mind bending chemicals, my previous experience with this stuff, and my recent (dramatic) increase in usage leading to a high tolerance. the pisser is that I have to go hang out with my parents tomorrow night and eat dinner with them because I have to ask for $150 to pay for health insurance. obviously, if I were to dose tonight (2nd night in a row, massive dose, only 5 hours of sleep so far since 8 am yesterday) they would REALLY be able to see me not being as sober as they would hope, hence not giving me money.anyway, I'm going to try to get some sleep here soon and tear my filthy digits away from this accursed blig.

brainwashing site alert!

I was just at www.sweetsurprise.com and they were trying to pull the wool over my eyes about high fructose corn syrup. they said it has nothing to do with obesity and that it is totally natural. ok, time to come clean (at least with the computer) about the past 2 days. I got out of work in a hurry on monday and bought a bottle of rum. hung out with urinymous busch and our old buddy, luke. apparently, he just got out of jail for what he calls "lots of shit". I didn't question further. charlie busted out the grim reefer and I went home nice and toasted after hanging out for a while. woke up the next day, had normal breakfast, cup of coffee, bike ride... about 2pm I began to feel that unique feeling of alcohol withdrawal and caffeine energy at the same time. I went to subway at walmart in intense pain. got chocolate milk from walmart proper and an italian sub from their subway. I returned home to quiet my demons with placating chocohol and sub while watching "white water summer" with kevin bacon as the abusive hiking leader. after a while I was feeling more myself and decided to see what the nothing masters across town were up to. nothing much obviously. i debated things with charlie a little and went home when I ran out of booze. oh, man this is where it gets bad! like fliff night bad! bored out of my brains with no booze and no dope, I ride to wegmans (this is after half a bottle of rum which explains the bent wheel on my road bike (nothing major) and the way that my toenail is completely destroyed on my left foot. what I bought there explains why I didn't feel the toe injury until 6:30 the next day) I got myself a bottle of doppelbock and a bottle of rmsc. if you don't know what that is, good. let it be. all I remember is smoking lots of resin while watching "cocaine cowboys" and waking up in a horrible way. upon first awakening, my vision went digital and I did THE WALK to the bathroom. it took me until 3 or 4 to be able to watch a video on my computer and all day to eat one granola bar. I was in bed trying not to die the rest of that time. I went back to work today to the computers not working and tried to handle it as best I could. when I told bob to stop taping the flaps of boxes over the labels, he threatened to punch me in the face. I got in deep trouble over this and in the middle of trying to catch up with a massive amount of work, I was called to the office for a conference about how bad I am. this is the only reason I enter that room besides to punch in and out. it seems to happen literally all the time. now I am drinking bartons vodka with some apple and orange trying to regain some sense of sanity. maybe a bike ride will help.

financial pressure building

I'm going to pay some bills today: my electric and the ambulance bill from when I couldn't drive to work without discorporating. that leaves the 75 dollar hospital bill and the rent that teddy won't pick up. otherwise, I've got absolutely nothing to do this weekend. new tube for the bmx might be nice to go riding and I could hang out with urinymous busch. when I talked to fred last night about jason, he acted like there was something wrong with him. oh well, nobody ever likes any of my friends. the pictures are of charlie "urinymous busch" and his buddy, lunchbox. in pgc news, I have protested doing team leader work when I am not team leader. they are piling the lists of stuff to move onto me and I have to keep up with the regular restock at the same time. they either need to make me leader, or make someone else leader so they can do that work. they're fucking me! who else could do the job? joe? his fireworks would make mine look like a sparkler. shawn? he doesn't even pay attention to what the hot items in his aisles are. good luck figuring out what to do about that, you secretive fuckers!

regular "a" blog

let's see, my guts are eft, which limits the amount of liquor I can drink, but not beer. re-upped the hippy lettuce, hung out with urinymous busch this weekend (these 2 go together). there's a new pic of the matt-o-taur in his angel blowing gear. and also a pic of what happens to my hair when I ride my bike. notice the darker clumps that are clearly soaked in sweat. I'm downloading some al di meola for good jazz, and some vision divine in an effort to keep up with the rhapsody of fire boys and their side projects (all of which sound like rhapsody). I was trying very hard to do some tracking in the "studio" this weekend, but came up with nothing. my studio is accessable by turning my chair slightly and moving the keyboard. now, I think I will go get some shite take-out food, turn on a torrented movie, and try to do some more tracks after lunch.