the world doesn't make sense (drunk)

this world does not make sense. it might just be me, or my clicke of conspiracy theorists, alchoholics and potheads, but WTF? the people in power use that power to control those who are powerless and make them eat crap, watch crap, and listen to crap. not only that, but religion is formulated to worship crap. false dieties, fables with anti-progressive meanings, and some douche-bag called jesus. yeah, jesus might have been some very popular religious leader, but he amounts to no more than a one hit wonder pop star in my book. the world needs substance. something that does not reveal all on the surface. a belief system (if you will) of some substance, explaining how things work, rather than "have faith and it will work". how about something more like science? there is a method to the madness there instead of blind faith. gigantic buildings that are meant to withstand plane crashes must be rigged with bombs in order to collapse just like monetary systems must not be backed by gold in order to collapse. i find government and religion repulsive. they sicken me. science, theory, order... all things that make sense. heavily researched and experimented, something with substance. it is this way because of said factors and conditions, laws of matter and of the universe. and who's to say it's not a multiverse? nobody has gone into space far enough to know. no evidence, no proof, we therefore think it doesn't exist. just because we can't get there? we can't see it? who's to say it's not there? other universes with planets, suns, stars, soforth? what I really want to voice here is doubt. if you can't prove that something exists, does it really not exist, or is it the case that we just cant acess it? it's not available. some people make a life out of speculating on these ideas, others lead meaningless, thoughtless existences focusing on pop culture and other crap that is fed to us in massive quantities. but what meaning is there to life anyway? are we here to be brainwashed and live in a technologically based society? were we meant to spend our time growing food and smoking bongs? both ideas are equally brainless. they both disclude thought. maybe we were meant to make meaning out of the world. maybe we are supposed to free ourselves from this world through violent and bloody death. who knows? NOBODY!!! I am very tempted to give up the search for meaning and let booze kill me slowly and in a very boring way. sitting at home, beer in hand watching meaningless crap on youtube. but the other half of me abhores alcohol and wants to be outside shredding guitar in a progressive metal band like symphony x. life is fuckin' complex!