Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Today's Most Serious Topic!

the most earth shattering thing off my lips as soon as I awoke from my nap this afternoon:
wild drug cults of the 1970's that became rewlatively unsuccessful businesses of the 1980's. it's an extremely limited realm of investigation, but I consider myself to be an expert on the subject!
don't get bligdrecuted!!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

storm day


just got off the phone with logan, he's back from new mexico now. turns out he had an awesome vacation full of fun in the sun. i was out in the storm today. walking back from the dollar store getting dvd player cleaning supplies. the pic is from right before the storm. i also sold dvds and ps2 games. I got a letter from the unemployment people saying that since I showed up drunk to get fired, I can't collect unemployment. things have gone from better to bad to worse as jon wayne would say. I'm going to contact the 401k people now and demand money. blig you later

blig from the other side

I'm totally robotic. keyboard is a monster. dont know if i'll ever recover.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

courtyard pic


I'm posting here for some reasons. the courtyard pic, obviously. it came out beautifully. I wasted a lot of time and money going to tops today. gas was wasted, and the syurup costs almost 5 dollars a bottle there (twice the price as wegmans). I bought it anyway and the label is different, but it's the same brand as wegmans and the same thing on the label. let's hope the contents match too! the other reason I'm posting is to kill some time because the only other thing I have to do today is watch the ten commandments. I don't know how biblical it will get, but I've heard it's mad long. I also put some chord progressions and lyrics together this morning to make a gothic jazz number. it might get recorded at some point, but I'm kinda steering away from the 4 track these days. it's just so much work to get a song that can't be performed live or repeated except by playing the mp3. anyway, I've been blogging a lot and should really get my fingers out of the blig before it grows teeth and bites them off.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

general unease




I chilled at urinymous busch's place this afternoon. we played guitar, I watched him play an extremely violent football game, and we watched some youtube. of course we also had to go to the store to get his namesake brand of american piss beers. ever since like 10:30 or 11 last night, I've had this INSANE craving for MASSIVE amounts of dxm. I mean, like 1062+ kind of obscene quantities of cough syrup. 708 just didn't do it for me! I want to get to the point where I'm completely freaking out and can't even enjoy it anymore. this is because of my overall insatiable thirst for mind bending chemicals, my previous experience with this stuff, and my recent (dramatic) increase in usage leading to a high tolerance. the pisser is that I have to go hang out with my parents tomorrow night and eat dinner with them because I have to ask for $150 to pay for health insurance. obviously, if I were to dose tonight (2nd night in a row, massive dose, only 5 hours of sleep so far since 8 am yesterday) they would REALLY be able to see me not being as sober as they would hope, hence not giving me money.anyway, I'm going to try to get some sleep here soon and tear my filthy digits away from this accursed blig.

Friday, September 25, 2009

always lose the smallest thing

I've lost a headphone converter. it turns the regular headphones into the big plug that fits in my surround sound system. I can't remember where I put it. I don't want to go to walmart for another one right now, but it seems that is the case. unless i find it or figure out another way to convert. it took like an hour to figure out that it was in the record player.

gollum... gollum...


splishes and splashes, my precious! tricksy insurance men tries to fuck us, they do. wriggling and slippery fuckers just like fishes. but we fucks them back! job people calls us too... from leroy. we KNOWS where they isssssss... smeagol will be on his best behavior. yessss, we will!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

smeagol


the precious is here. we hides it in our cave. whilst eating buddhist gruel and watching kung fu. don't bother us! we are in deep conversation with ourselves.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

long, hard... day of work



Well, I just thought I'd stick my detestable digits in the blig for a quick update. I worked at a construction site today with a sheast porta-potty and a really cool toad whose home I had to take away. he was under an empty box, and it was my job to clean the place all day. I was with a guy my age named brian and we met the boss for lunch. arkron hooked me up with this work. the boss is his buddy, george dahl. I saw the logs that arkron had to cut and tell me stories about repeatedly. also, Libby (girl from craigslist) texted me today. I was happy to hear from her and told her how much I was working. overall, I'm tired!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

late night


it is late and I am up and feeling wild. I spent a lot of today doing good stuff. I got my car inspected, did laundry, and got to drive my dad's fav auto, the '64 riviera. he says that I can drive it when I want, but I would really rather drive the effing batmobile. it is comfy and has king diamond tapes in it! if I inherit that sweet ride, I will put a decent system in it. nothing fancy, I just want to listen to good music. slap some regular-a speakers in that thing and cruise down the road listening to judas priest or something. what would really hit the spot right about now is some really flourescent green hippy lettuce with red and orange hairs through a multi-stage ice-bong. unfortunately, I have to be able to pass a drug test, so that won't happen.here's a pic of the riviera.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

yard work!?


people are outside the building right now ruining the tropical rainforest!. they have loud buzzing and growling instruments of destruction that they are using to exterminate any plant life they can catch with their blades of anti-hippydom. those fuckers better not touch my beautious squishes or the awesome pricker bush! not like I'd do anything besides miss my stoic landmarks, but that's besides the point. i'm hoping for a call from jason today. I promised his GF some anime. plant killer pic must be placed... got it!

Friday, September 18, 2009

weird day


today was kinda funky. I got up and did my normal internet thing. texted katie about my paycheck and she said she would deliver it sometime after 1. then my dad called at 11:30 and invited me to lunch. I insisted we go to subway to get the AWESOME deal of buy one get one. I got foot-longs and he got 6". we both paid the same amount. he complained to me and I told him that I had informed him of the deal before we ordered. he lectured and preached and made me not want to be there. he dropped me off at 12:30 so I could be home to get my paycheck. at 3:30 I got a call to go pick it up in holley. not in the plan, but I got it and my videos along with the captain morgan keychain. I rushed around for about 45 minutes cashing my check, paying the electric bill and getting groceries. I even saw julie who says she has 4 jobs, but I'm thinking maybe 1 or 2 at most. texted teddy about rent payment because I have enough money, filled out the COBRA insurance form.. I was busy! so everything is caught up. now I have to find a job so I can keep it that way. the temperature is funny today. not quite warm enough for summer wear, yet not cold enough for fall fashion. I'm going questing to find a cool image to attach here. it only took about 5 seconds to find something way out there! a robot frog that jumps onto an office chair! that's wild!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

job interview



ok, I drove a total of about 60 miles and spent 3 hours at the job interview. by the half way mark I didn't want the job anymore regardless of the fact that I'm so qualified it hurts. turns out... unemployment continues!! YAY! more sitting in front of the computer! no 60 miles a day commute! no dead pigs... no dead frogs.. no skeletons... alright, so not everything is good, but I tried and it's all for the best anyway.
MATT I can see the chameleon shirt through my blog. you better not be reading this on the clock, you know that's a fireable offense! and tell mike wells to stop playing penguin baseball on the work computers too. you guys are such outlaws.
anyway, I got an email from my friend that got thrown in the spam bucket, so I am VERY happy that she isn't ignoring me or something.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

wuxia nightmares

that was a rough night. I can remember lying on my bed listening to chinese music with my eyes closed and having wuxia nightmares of thousands of jiang-hu underworld masters flying through a bamboo forest and wrapping long scarves around trees. the ravi shankar was accompanied by middle eastern carvings that flowed like water. I got scared and got up to try and comfort myself with the internet only to be struck by the worst feelings available.
the mr. clean picture is still funny though, and I intend to stick with that idea. I'm just blogging to blog, so I'll get my digits out of the blig before something weird comes out of them.

no more drugs.


i don't want any more drugs. the tussin is treating me like a punching bag and I hate it. the creepy crawly feeling all over me is too much. I know I will live through this and when I come out the other side, no chemicals will enter my body. I will be so clean that I will shine. not even coffee. I'm going all natural when this is over. if I have to eat rice and water, so be it! I will pollute my body no more. the world has never seen a man so dedicated to doing good. you can take your religions and shove them up your dogmatic ass. I will live for me. I will get a good job and when I get home from work, I will practice guitar. I will learn from books how to be the best guitar player and herman li will sound like shite. al di meola will invite me to play with him because I will shred so clean and so nice.
anyone who knew me will be surprized at how I have changed. I remember a little robo-tripper who wrote something called champion of changes. I will be the normal one. and sucessful. underdog from left field, watch out because I am going to do something right!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

paradox flip-flop


after the last blog entry, I hibernated for 22 hours straight. I may have gotten up to use the bathroom twice at most. at about 8 am this morning, I awoke empty, weak, but somehow refreshed. breakfast was had with some episodes of chromartie high school (a new anime that kinda sucks when I'm not getting eft on chemicals). I surfed for jobs and cleaned out my email after getting a call from 2 different places wanting interviews, then called my dad and got my car up to par. we did stuff like fill the tires, clean the windows, and check the brakes (which were fine despite the shaking). I got the usual lecture about what to do. I listened and took note of things he said, but didn't take it as the absolute set in stone gospel. we made an appointment for my inspection at the place down the street where he knows the mechanics. I was promised $50 to put new windshield wipers on my car and to pay for inspection. I bought and replaced the blades myself and got a sub for lunch. after that, I stopped by to see arkron. he listened as I explained the good things that I have been doing. taking care of business, getting calls, fixing my car... I copied some chords from his guitar book and looked at his new painting with him. we agreed about what was good and bad about it as I pointed out a muddy area in the corner and he told me about painting the rocks along the stream (a very common element in his work). the fu that I watched today was come drink with me. it involved surprisingly little alcohol and turned out to be a 2002 remaster. it was really cool because the underdog from the beginning becomes a respected hero in the end. that about brings this up to date. if you can't figure out why this is called the paradox flip-flop, you're dumber than I thought so don't read my blog anymore.

Monday, September 14, 2009

legend of liquid shite



well, I walked to the hospital last night thinking I was going to die. they made me drink charcoal and swallow gigantic potassium pills. the dumbass doctor couldn't figure out what kind of syrup I drank and there was one nurse with the good the bad and the ugly face. then they pumped me full of liquids and wouldn't let me use the real toilet and I just couldn't piss in the recepticles they gave me. shawn txted me to see if I was ok cause I had sent him a cry for help. by that time I felt more myself and had my usual punk-bravado back on. I was taking pics of my shite in the toilet and told him that I got some of the sweetest dook pics ever. the doctor that replaced the other one looked like steve buscemi and was wearing a freemason's iron cross. I told him that I was fine and wanted to go home to sleep because I couldn't get any rest there. when he said ok, I peeled the sticky things off of me which the nurse didn't like. they told me to follow up with dr. garg which I won't do and gave me the card of their insurance guy and told me to call him so I wouldn't have to pay the bill. I have a feeling that insurance is more money than the bill, but that's besides the point. I'll call the guy and try to make a deal of some kind. all this time, I'm either on the toilet summoning the charcoal or in bed having to pee so bad I can taste it. they gave me a tray that they called breakfast which consisted of things too nasty to touch, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, milk and oj. I ate the dead bread and drank the breakfast liquids, but balked at the coffee and rice pudding. if I had drank that coffee, they would have regretted giving it to me as they would have gotten the bed linnens soiled. now I'm home with another hospital band for my collection waiting for teddy to come and take my last $200. CHECK THE SWEET DOOK PICS!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

robitussin

it fs your mind and it fs your body. it fs your soul. it fs your life. it fs everything that you thought you knew is gone. don't drink robitussin.

trial in 10 min.

it's 6:10 on sunday. I'm going to my parents' place to eat dinner and explain to them that I got fired for constantly causing problems and showing up drunk. but I feel great! it's like I had been wearing all my winter coats for 3 years and now they are on the floor and I am FREE! I've been talking to a girl through email, appying everywhere i can and even some places where I can't and some jobs I'm not qualified for. I even contacted kirby vaccum cleaners. the whole world is at my fingertips and I haven't touched booze in 4 days! not quite my 2 week record, but getting there. urinymous busch hasn't called me probably because he read too much of my blog. jason, shawn, and arkron have encouraged me every chance they got. I feel free as a bird! 3 minutes left, better stop till next time my damn digits start typing obscenities into this here blig.

Friday, September 11, 2009

not everything looks down

i've tried to handle this career change like an adult. the first thing I did was stop drinking and give the rest of my booze to richard. he can drink the cheap vodka and have fun because he's old and doesn't have to do anything productive. 2nd, I applied for unemployment. I might have to change supervisor names on the form, as I might have written sue swanson instead of wells. it should be an easy thing to fix and I'll check that tomorrow. I've applied to some places around here including the millhouse where my friend, jason works. he says they need a dishwasher, which could prop me up, pay me under the table while i look for something better. hopefully, I will recieve a last check from pgc. I'll ask shawn to tell them to mail it to me as I don't want messy confrontations. if I have to move back to my parent's place, so what? it's not like I haven't done it before. I want to avoid that if possible though. sunday I will go to my parent's for dinner and discuss what is to be done. it's not going to be easy, but it needs to be done. maybe we can put our heads together and control the damage. the whole idea here is to stay calm and try to handle things like adults. hopefully the unemployment thing doesn't throw a monkey wrench in the works.
I've also gotten a response from a girl on craigslist. she seems kindof wierd. probably a good match. she has one thing that I haven't found before on that site. she's human! not an auto-response come look at porn program or an endless "moving to rochester" emailer who sends the same message every time.
The person who has been most supportive of me is richard! arkron, my old neighbor! he says "this is a golden opportunity for you to get a good job" and "aim for the stars, you might just hit the sky, but that's better than hitting the floor!" I'm really happy he's my neighbor even if it's only for one more week before I move back in with my parents. having someone believe in you is priceless.
I called tj today because it's his birthday (wait, now it's yesterday!) he was overjoyed to even get a phone call from me. I told him happy birthday and have fun going out to eat.
the pgc weight was so heavy and now it's gone! I am free to look for a good job at a sane company and try to be good. one thing that I know is gone is the booze. that will weigh a man down to his grave if he carries it for too long.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

scrape self off floor


there have been some changes taking place in as controlled a manner as possible. I went to apply at the millhouse as per jason's instructions and on the way, met my father who was on his usual "fuck looking for work, let's spy on andy" rounds. he said he noticed my car in the driveway (he looks for it every day) and asked me why I wasn't at work. I didn't go into detail, but told him that I got fired and it was my fault. kind of a load off, as there aren't any worthwhile secrets my fam don't know anymore. the first day without work, I was very hung over and spent some time in bed when I wasn't hanging out with jason. today, I spent a lot of time online applying to local businesses which all seem to be affiliated with something called kronos. the ancient meaning of this term is some type of malicious time entity who isn't too far removed from what modern people would call satan. there was no satan back then, so all of these different dieties from around the world have aspects that eventually got mixed down to make devils of different semi-ancient origin. I am sure that the horns and all-seeing eye are the main ingredients. it doesn't take icke or tsarion to see these things in this journal image or to make the connection to the heavy metal bands that use the word (kronos from france and the lead singer from venom). anyway, I'm making an effort to get some new income started, so that's all I can do without a time machine to go back in time and REALLY fix things.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

the downward spiral



I showed up to work late and drunk this morning and started talking shit right away. by 8, I was called into the office where I said "I can't take any more of these office meetings, just fire me" and they did. so here's where it stands: I want to do some tussin to shock the old system and take a day off to compose myself. during this time, I will try to apply for some jobs via the internet and try not to lose my apartment. that place was really bad for me anyway. anybody who likes drinking in the least bit gets turned into an alcoholic by the old pgc. for fuck's sake it was driving me to dig up dxm demons from the past! anyway, I caught a pic of some fungus in the duck pond park and that's it for now.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

b-town is dangerous!

main street is TORE UP!!! they put giant holes in the sidewalk with fences around them, there are hoses EVERYWHERE, sometimes they even close the road. I went for a ride tonight to get a deuce from K&K and had a perilous journey. on top of the already trecherous path through darkness and being blinded by assholes with their high beams on, I had gaping crevasses to circumnavigate though peoples' front yards.
fuck, nobody reads this thing anyway, I'll spill the beans. when my damned digits typed into this here blig about being like really sick or having done something wrong recently, I was refering to one of the darkest demons in my jaded past, our old red friend, robitussin. ouch. the word even hurts to type. most people say that if they go back to it after a long time, they don't really like it, but nobody I read about says it feels like concentrated hell! I used to REALLY dip into that stuff and it's been a very long time, but after that many years of not using it, Ive had 4 experiences in the past 2 years. 2 of them were decent and 2 complete misery. during fearless l's reign of terror, I left aa and figured "hey, what if i did drugs instead of drink?" what followed was a short time of forcing myself to smoke pot and drink shitty beer. I got into wild irish rose hardcore and used it to indirectly damage my car.
2 nights during that time, I went to eckerd and got tussin pills. the first time, I was foolishly bold with the dosage. 2 bottle for 600mg total. I layed on my couch and watched regular tv like dirty jobs. it hurt, I did the walk, drank water out of a yellow mobil on the run cup and had a horrible time. the second time, I tried one bottle and didn't think it was too bad. it just fucked me up so much that all i could do was listen to music.
I stopped for a while. drank a lot, started smoking pot again, started enjoying pot again.
the job has been getting to me lately. bad enough to conjure forth demons from the past that were thought to be forever buried? you bet! the first time, I was really drunk and just made a bee line for wegmans. I was probably doing caffeine pills at the time too. it fucked me up hardcore, but i almost had fun. until i woke up the next day and was still seeing digital. I spent the day in bed and misery. it took me all day to eat a granola bar. on the plus side, I watched really good anime that night called sword of the stranger.
friday night, I knew I had a bottle in my room and decided during the course of the week to drink it that night. friday came and I got a mean coffee for lunch. coffee treated my alcoholism like a punching bag. I felt bad enough when I got home to take a nap. I woke up and started drinking, then took the dex. eventually, I became more and more toasted by the 2nd plateau buzz. tried to watch movies and stuff to no avail. it weren't no fun! I kindof writhed through my apartment doing the walk and trying to get comfortable. i even had to mellow out the playlist when I was listening to music. the next day I spent a lot of time in bed and again couldn't eat much.
the last 2 were syrup and the 1st were gel caps. I have to say I prefer the syrup. it tells you what it is very directly and goes down quicker than a bunch of giant pills. I'm not saying it's never going to happen again, but in the forseeable future, there is not a chance.
so, if I've divulged the wrong secrets to the wrong person, please leave a comment, you will be the first to do so on this damned blig.

Friday, September 4, 2009

wrong.

i did the wrong thing. if sorry would help, I would say it, but where I am, sorry just doesn't cut it. you just have to count on waking up the next day. i will have the king of hangovers.

neighbor's hops




I think that my neighbors are growing hops to brew beer with. they are all over my side of the fence and jason was with me and saw them, asking if they were hops. wikipedia showed a picture that looked exactly like what was outside. anyway, i'm getting fucked up and should post before I lose the ability to do so.