b-town is dangerous!

main street is TORE UP!!! they put giant holes in the sidewalk with fences around them, there are hoses EVERYWHERE, sometimes they even close the road. I went for a ride tonight to get a deuce from K&K and had a perilous journey. on top of the already trecherous path through darkness and being blinded by assholes with their high beams on, I had gaping crevasses to circumnavigate though peoples' front yards.
fuck, nobody reads this thing anyway, I'll spill the beans. when my damned digits typed into this here blig about being like really sick or having done something wrong recently, I was refering to one of the darkest demons in my jaded past, our old red friend, robitussin. ouch. the word even hurts to type. most people say that if they go back to it after a long time, they don't really like it, but nobody I read about says it feels like concentrated hell! I used to REALLY dip into that stuff and it's been a very long time, but after that many years of not using it, Ive had 4 experiences in the past 2 years. 2 of them were decent and 2 complete misery. during fearless l's reign of terror, I left aa and figured "hey, what if i did drugs instead of drink?" what followed was a short time of forcing myself to smoke pot and drink shitty beer. I got into wild irish rose hardcore and used it to indirectly damage my car.
2 nights during that time, I went to eckerd and got tussin pills. the first time, I was foolishly bold with the dosage. 2 bottle for 600mg total. I layed on my couch and watched regular tv like dirty jobs. it hurt, I did the walk, drank water out of a yellow mobil on the run cup and had a horrible time. the second time, I tried one bottle and didn't think it was too bad. it just fucked me up so much that all i could do was listen to music.
I stopped for a while. drank a lot, started smoking pot again, started enjoying pot again.
the job has been getting to me lately. bad enough to conjure forth demons from the past that were thought to be forever buried? you bet! the first time, I was really drunk and just made a bee line for wegmans. I was probably doing caffeine pills at the time too. it fucked me up hardcore, but i almost had fun. until i woke up the next day and was still seeing digital. I spent the day in bed and misery. it took me all day to eat a granola bar. on the plus side, I watched really good anime that night called sword of the stranger.
friday night, I knew I had a bottle in my room and decided during the course of the week to drink it that night. friday came and I got a mean coffee for lunch. coffee treated my alcoholism like a punching bag. I felt bad enough when I got home to take a nap. I woke up and started drinking, then took the dex. eventually, I became more and more toasted by the 2nd plateau buzz. tried to watch movies and stuff to no avail. it weren't no fun! I kindof writhed through my apartment doing the walk and trying to get comfortable. i even had to mellow out the playlist when I was listening to music. the next day I spent a lot of time in bed and again couldn't eat much.
the last 2 were syrup and the 1st were gel caps. I have to say I prefer the syrup. it tells you what it is very directly and goes down quicker than a bunch of giant pills. I'm not saying it's never going to happen again, but in the forseeable future, there is not a chance.
so, if I've divulged the wrong secrets to the wrong person, please leave a comment, you will be the first to do so on this damned blig.