Saturday, January 31, 2009

incomplete trip 10



When the adventurers reached the other side of the murky moat, they docked their robitusin raft on an island of broken bongs. "Hold on guys." Nexus said pensively. There should be a resin reef somewhere around here." So they sent Tttee scuba diving to look for anything good. While Tttee was scuba diving, she met a strange underwater creature that spoke only in catch phrases and directed her to the bottom of the moat for resin. Tttee picked up a giant clam shell and scraped a huge chunk of resin up to bring back. Upon her return, they all enjoyed many resin bowls and passed the carafe around until they were all completely blitzed.

incomplete trip 9


They rumbled through the robitussin range and navigated the nodoz necropolis. They braved broken glass in the beer bottle bay by the sea of bong water, which they crossed on a robitussin raft.

incomplete trip 8


"That's quite the carafe you have there!" the wizard exclaimed. "I've sure done my fair share of drugs too. I have a garbage heap in the back of this cave that goes down deep underground to caverns that haven't seen the light of day in centuries." "How interesting!" said the hero "We should go down there and see what's been festering and growing in your garbage."

incomplete trip 7


The young hero introduced himself: "I'm Sequertiop from the small town of the elves. I have come seeking shelter from the biggest baddest monster around and this is my rat, Tttee." There was a moment of silence befor the wizard responded. "My name is Nexus and I have been in this cave mastering the mystical arts for 7 hundred years."

incomplete trip 6


The cave was not empty though. It was the home of a wizard who could cast powerful magic spells. The wizard was not upset to have intruders in his home, he was happy to have visitors because he had been alone practicing magic in the cave for hundreds of years. Our hero was very relieved to make a new friend and they all drank from the carafe and shared their stories.

incomplete trip 5



When all hope was lost and the rat was tired from running, in the distance the duo spied a small cave at the bottom of a large mountain range. They raced the last few feet and were soon safe inside of a cave that the monster could not fit inside.

incomplete trip 4


Our faithful hero jumped on his rat and was off like a flash! He thought that he would get away untill he looked behind and saw that the monster had broken loose from it's chains and was chasing them down the street.

incomplete trip 3


The hero's rat ran under the monster while he was distracted and yoinked the carafe and ran away unnoticed.

Friday, January 30, 2009

incomplete trip 2


Down the street there lived a mighty hero who could save the day. The hero was very smart, so he had a plan. He would send his rat to go quickly and get the carafe. The fateful day came and the hero approached the monster and began to tease it.

incomplete trip 1


This is a very long blog project, but I must do it. When I was working nights at mobile, I wrote a story with pictures to go with it. this is that story (parental discretion advised, drug references abound) in it's original form, but with text instead of scribbled writing.
Out in the bayou there is Robitussin. A carafe of tussin that tastes good and never runs out. It is guarded by the most hideous ugly monster ever created. and he was chained down.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

you know what...


we all know what I'm talking about. although it goes by special words or phrases in different areas or groups of people, we all know what it is. it is legal in some states, but not all. it is also legal in amsterdam. it's that spice of life that comes from mother nature, and maybe why some of us are still alive. I don't know how many people would rather die than stop tasting the herb of the earth. I've also heard that it is as alien a plant as possible as it exhibits male and female sexes. the best advice that I can provide for practitioners of this method is to find old jazz videos on google video. if you like good jazz, there's an ella fitzgerald video (not smella shitzgerald) called "it don't mean a thing if it don't got that swing" that is amazing. I was just watching it in awe of the musicians. listening to louis armstrong as I write this. my boss thought that I was wearing a marilyn manson shirt today, but it was the shirt that I earned by watching my parents pets while they were gone to see my sister and it said maryland on it. I thought it was funny because my computer was playing charlie christian at the time. the marylin manson shirt would have been out of place on me, the guy that listens to good guitar players rather than shock rock. I guess her bad opinion of me needs to change.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

ideas to help internet dating

I know this might sound wierd from someone who hasn't had a girlfriend or a date for so long, but the internet dating sites should include 2 more variables to match people with and also ask some extra questions. variable 1: advanced dungeons and dragons alignment score based on answers to all other questions. this is obvious because I am chaotic neutral, they've been sending me to girls that are lawful good and I haven't seen anyone of any other discernable alignment. variable 2: an overall 1-10 score you don't want snobby 10s being disgusted by the 1s and 2s. some questions about sins past and present would help. some ideas for questions: are you drunk? are you drinking? are you on drugs? waiting for drugs to arrive/ kick in? are you a shut-in? obsessive compulsive? extremely rich? any mental or physical handicaps? are you a compulsive liar? this would have to be determined by other answers rather than a regular question. did you have trouble filling out this form? were you surprised when we asked you for money? did you know that this is a pay site? please name 3 internet porn sites? this question puts you on a top priority list to get hooked up with sluts and girls with looser moral values. also, they should rank your pictures based on multiple criteria like photography skills, can you see the person, are they ugly, wearing accessories, etc.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Art Webber.



I just got back from my parent's for dinner and asked my dad about Art Webber. I asked the names of the women with him in party mode. I don't remember their names, but it turns out those pictures of boisterous laughter and unrestrained happiness were taken at a FUNERAL!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

partying with logan




this weekend I'm hanging out with logan at my place. it's cool because we have good beer and any media we want (computer, instruments, etc). we dragged the picture out of my attic today after I came back to life. yup, I drank way too much caffinated booze last night. it was kind of difficult to pick him up as I've never been to his new living arrangement before. his sister told logan to leave, so now he's living with a cousin. logan says that if he cleans up her messy house he can stay there. that's about it and some pictures.

Friday, January 23, 2009

blog hard, ride free

there are 2 news stories today. first, my videos got taken down by youtube. apparently they like taking down videos, it gives them a power trip. alex jones always talks about them taking down 911 truth movement videos, they always target full movies like the dance of the drunken mantis, and they also go for images. some of my videos contained images obtained from google image search and they didn't like that, so like 80% of my songs are gone. the good news (2nd piece of info as promised) is that I'm starting a new album. the first song is coming along pretty good. I wrote it on piano, then used the bass to do the lower part, the ooh voice on my keys to do some chords with bass notes added and guitar for power chords on the root notes. there will be some sweeping arpeggios on the lead guitar track and I've been capturing pics with my phone to make a slideshow of the chinese love letters at work. overall, I'm trying to make the best of things, drink enough so i can sleep through the night and try to be good at work. although I did anger joey, the fire demon last nigh with a txt about his dog barking. hopefully in time he will forgive and forget if no further txt messages are sent. I have learned in neighborly communications 101 that no communication is good communication. so if anyone needs advice, leave your neighbors the fuck alone or they will hate your guts. I don't care how loud or annoying they are, don't txt them to be quiet or ask them why they are loud. this will only make them hate you. if their dog is barking from 2 am to 3 am, it doesn't matter. DON'T TEXT YOUR NEIGHBORS ANYTHING!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

internet dating is difficult and funny


yes, I spent last night responding to craigslist ads made by women who are lonely and want male companionship. I was like that guy at the bar that just asks out EVERY good looking girl around. I figured that probability would be on my side if I played the numbers game right. I got 3 e-mails from jennys who seem to all be the same person regardless of last name and 1 from another girls (24 to be exact) who I described in a reply as "wearing thier birthday suits". this was clearly a sex hook-up site that is probably populated by viruses, spyware and nasty computer filth, but no women. to summarize, I got no real replies even though I sent at least 20 messages that would direct young women to my blog and youtube pages. I even told them to send insults if they didn't like what they saw.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

We need silver knight gothic!



the world is going to shit, king obama has been sworn in, the gears are in motion to remove the 22nd ammendment (which limits the president's term to 8 years) and to make it possible for arnold schwartzenagger to claim the throne. we need silver knight gothic! a hero, savior, mega-man to save us from tyranny. alex jones will trigger him with the help of david icke and michael tsarion. I fear that I may be this person. a load has been dumped upon the drunkard's shoulders! we are in for a rough time as the bible supposedly says. the first beast was bush. he was bad. but if the people quoting the bible are correct, the second beast, obama is worse. if you thought that bush fucked up the country and was almost a fascist dictator, obama will rock your world! he would be the second and final beast that was prophecised. I don't think that swarms of locusts and frogs will appear or anything that physical or easy to deal with. it will all be political and in the law. the people back in the day were just prophecising the worst possible scenario and that is EXACTLY what will happen: the worst possible scenario. if you doubt my words, look up fluoride, aspartame and agenda 21 ALL proven by government documents. I'm not feeding you a load of shit here. just worrying about how to fight the all-powerful all-knowing evil reptilian overlords.

somebody's out there!

I've been uploading my solo project to youtube and when I check the stats, I noticed that someone is watching my videos! in the way of the plow has 168 views! I really hope that they weren't all from me, but I doubt that. also, carnival carousel and drunken noodling in corpsepaint are really taking off. I just wish someone would leave a comment somewhere...

Monday, January 19, 2009

pic for logan (MIA)


tried to call logan, left message, no callback. is he sick? moved? don't know, but here's a picture he would like.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

try to pay for internet, I dare you!

it is so hard to find out how much the internet costs! I just spent 15 minutes searching for a way to pay for it and only came up with 1 price! roadrunner costs 34.95 a month. no other ISPs list a price. frontier has a vast website with not a single price in it. I just want internet, not phone and tv with it, and they don't list a price for that. also, don't try to type the numbers 2 or 0 into thier zip code search, it doesn't work. you can press 2s and 0s all day when you're clicked into that box and it won't do a damn thing! the internet went down yesterday and it made me consider getting my own instead of stealing it from "locke" but I guess I'm cursed to rely on them as long as I live here and don't have $34.95 a month to throw away. I bet I wouldn't be able to pay cash for it anyway.

blog while you can

I just caught some internet, so I'm taking full advantage. uploaded 2 more music/slideshow vids on youtube, checked my e-mail, you know... the slideshow vids are really getting some views! I was surprised at how many they got. carnival carousel is up to 71 last I checked. well, last night was rough. I partied at joey's and earned a massive hangover. slept till like 12 or so and don't remember how I got to bed, but all my shit is here and the door was locked, so I must have been coherent enough to remember to bring the rum and lock the door. this means I wasn't carried upstairs.

Friday, January 16, 2009

at work + bored


just blogging for the point of blogging. be sure to check for videos, as i just posted 2 and there are more to come soon. i'm thinking about doing another slideshow one like the others, but with my own art (like draw it myself). who knows, but something will be posted.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

FUCK blogger.com






fuck blogger.com, they can suck my cock! I just spent half an hour trying to set up a fuckin account when i already have one! i clicked my normal buttons, I'm obsessive compulsive, so it couldn't be my fault. so fuck this site, fuck them up the asshole with a rusty sledgehammer. I've a name for my solo project and any that may join it, that I see fit. that name is: the muay thai pirates of buddha's drunken palm. images: dude jumping out of the temple knee first, then th pirate flag, then buddha, and at last the drnken boxing pose and the palm.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

man vs. self



My brain is at war with itself. I really don't want to drink, but the other half of me really wants to drink and knows that there is plenty of vodka in the freezer and mixers in the fridge. Both halves know that I will get a good night's sleep if I do indeed imbibe vodka in disgusting amounts, but the no half says "when will you stop drinking ka? when you have cancer? become homeless? die?" but then the yes half says "just finish that bottle and don't buy another" but no says "what about when there is not enough for a whole night? you're gonna go buy a whole nother bottle and this will happen again" back and forth they go. if I skip tonight, I'll really be leaning toward the yes side tomorrow because I will have had all day to be bored and vodka will only look even better than it does now. as always, here are the images.

Friday, January 9, 2009

complete set


the quest for glory set is now complete. I found 2 when I was at work doing image searches, found 1 in the same way at home, torrented 3 and 4 and got 5 for x-mas a long time ago. time to play!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

sweep picking technique



I'm trying a new guitar technique for sweep arpeggios. I hold the whammy bar with the 3 fingers of my right hand that are not holding the pick. it seems to work pretty well and I hope that the picture does it justice. I will also include a diagram drawn in paint for those who can't see or if my picture sucks.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

laundry day is a very dangerous day


I've been known for some rough sundays, but this one takes the cake! i got home today and decided to do laundry. everything was going fine when suddenly, the cieling split and water started gushing out. there was a very scared old woman who called the laundry number and left a message while I used my phone to capture the chaos. my laundry finished, and I went home to be struck by pain and discomfort. I tried tums to no avail, took 1 ibuprofen and had a hard time swallowing it and made myself a nice chocoholic beverage. 2 sips in, I ran to the bathroom and hurled my guts out. now I sit here shaking and contemplating what to do.

Friday, January 2, 2009

cheap digital thrills




if you want something cool to do on the internet, you can get the old quest for glory games. hero's quest is available at abandonia.com. I found it when I was searching for qfg2 maps, so you might have to dig through that site a little more than I did, but it's there. there is no sound as of yet, but if I figure it out, I'll blog about that. trial by fire is at agdinteractive.com and comes in much better quality if you use xp like my computer. make sure you configure it to run in a window and pick the wrong number combination. the game will tell you that it is wrong, but do it anyway. I played #2 quite a bit today and found that a map would really help, so here are the maps to both games. there is one last thought to discuss here. is it cool to do this because i didn't pay a single cent and got rare old games, or does even knowing about them, let alone knowing what to do in them verify that I am an ultra-dork, and hence not cool?