beer

how to pick a real beer (my way)
beer should not be transparent. if you can see through it in a glass, it's american piss beer.
it should be thick. runny watered down piss beers need not apply.
it should not come in a 30 pack or 18 pack (unless already known to be good). large quantity beer packs usually contain urine like beverages.
no flashy packaging. if it looks fast when it's standing still, don't drink it.
no commercials. if you heard about it on the radio or tv, it's probably wizz brew. except sam adams.
camoflage cans are not a good idea. peepee pilsners all around.
cans and non-brown bottles hint at nasty number 1 drinks.
twist off caps are usually for cheap american piss beer. except yeungling black and tan (a convenient marketing ploy gone horribly right). use a bottle opener to unlock true beer flavors.
pictured here is a good beer. it opens with a cork (even better), looks stationary, and you probably haven't heard of it before. the brown wine sized bottle is good too.
use common sense. check the internet, compare containers or cartons, ask a friend...
just try to get some decent beer